Grounding in the face of fear
You probably feel a bit battered. How much doom scrolling have you been doing when the kids go to bed? Or are you mindlessly shopping on Amazon?
For several weeks I found myself loading up my Amazon cart with random shit. It would sit there… the total climbing…$50… $200… $1000… then when someone in my family wanted to buy something they actually needed they would have to move all twenty items into the “saved for later” section so they could order an air filter.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes dissociation and numbing out is helpful. Sometimes it’s literally necessary.
The problem comes when it becomes a trend. When the time of being in your body and knowing yourself becomes smaller and smaller.
Why Grounding Matters: Understanding Dissociation and Finding Your Way Back
We all have moments when life feels too much. Maybe it’s 2025, maybe an old wound gets unexpectedly triggered, or maybe the weight of everything is just too damn heavy. When that happens, our minds and bodies have ways of protecting us—sometimes by disconnecting entirely. This is called dissociation, and it can show up in different ways: zoning out, feeling numb, losing track of time, or even feeling like you're outside of your own body.
It’s a spectrum. On the mild side it’s when you drive home without consciously making a turn and don’t really remember the last five minutes of the drive. On the more extreme end, it’s when a trauma is so awful you move out of your body and experience entirely to protect yourself and might feel like you’re an observer or lose time entirely.
Why Do We Numb Out?
Dissociation and numbing are not weaknesses; they are survival mechanisms. Our nervous system is wired to keep us safe, and when it perceives a threat—whether it's an actual danger or an overwhelming emotion—it can switch into protective mode. Sometimes that means fighting or fleeing, but other times it means freezing or shutting down. If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling mindlessly through your phone, watching TV without really paying attention, or feeling like you’re floating away when things get too intense, that’s your brain saying, “Let’s press pause for a minute.”
And honestly? Sometimes that pause is necessary. In moments of extreme stress, dissociation can be a mercy. It can give us the distance we need to survive an unbearable situation. But when it becomes the default way we handle discomfort, it keeps us disconnected from our own lives. We miss out on joy, on connection, on feeling fully present in our own skin.
And, it keeps us from taking action… from making changes… from interrupting the status quo.
What Are the Alternatives?
If you’ve been using dissociation or numbing as a way to cope, know this: you don’t have to give up that protection all at once. The goal isn’t to force yourself to be present when it feels unsafe—it’s to slowly build a sense of safety within yourself. Grounding exercises are one way to do that.
Grounding brings you back into your body and the present moment. It reminds your nervous system that you are here, you are safe, and you are in control.
The goal here isn’t to suddenly feel peaceful, or happy, or even good. The goal is to interrupt the dissociation and numbing so you don’t get lost in it.
Some simple ways to ground yourself include:
Using Your Senses: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
Breathing Deeply: Take a slow inhale through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, then exhale through your mouth. Repeat until you feel a shift.
Moving Your Body: Stretch, walk barefoot on the ground, splash cold water on your face—anything that reminds you that you have a body and it is yours.
Holding Something Solid: Grab a rock, a piece of fabric, or anything with texture. Focus on how it feels in your hand.
Speaking Out Loud: Say your name, where you are, and one thing that’s true about this moment. “I am [your name], I am sitting in my living room, and I am safe.”
Grounding is not about forcing yourself to feel okay when you don’t. It’s about creating a bridge between numbness and presence—about reminding yourself, gently and patiently, that you deserve to take up space in your own life.
Things right now might be scary. You might need to zone out sometimes.
There is strength in presence. There is power inside of you. We need you. So don’t go away too much. :)
With love, Dr Sarah G
Do you want to take the next step in getting support? Sign up for the waitlist for my Membership where I’ll be offering answers to members’ questions, journaling prompts, support, tips, and skills!
